*whew*

I made it through Turkey day without major binging. Oh the tepmptation was there, but all I had to do was remind myself of all the sit-ups I would have to do to burn off all those calories and suddenly it wasn't so appetizing after all. I must admit, I did indulge in more carbs than I would have liked to do.

I am really tired today. I haven't slept well in the last week. I really am looking forward to sleeping in on Sunday. :)

Thanksgiving

Thankgsiving is upon us. I have so much to be thankful for, I don't know where to begin. I am thankful for my friends and family, who support me and lift me up when I am down. I have a roof over my head that doesn't leak, my apartment is warm in the winter and cool in the summer.

That being said, I am depressed and sad. I miss family who have passed away. I miss my friends who are far away. I feel like I am moving in slow motion while everyone else is moving in fast-forward. It is so hard to explain how I feel when I am depressed. One analogy is like being underwater. You move much slower and feel like your holding your breath.

The November Dismals

It is a week before Thanksgiving and I am feeling miserable. Seasonal depression has hit me hard. I just want to sleep all the time and I don't feel like doing anything productive. Don't get me wrong, I am very thankfull for all I have. I really am! I am simply exhausted, have a headache most of the time and the Holidays haven't even started yet. *sigh* I know how to get rid of the headache-get new glasses, but we can't afford them.

The diet is still working, but I have hit a snag. I stopped journalling for a few days and boy I can see the difference in my eating habits. I will resume the journal tomorrow. I am losing between 1 and 5 lbs a week. This week wasn't so good, I only lost 1/2 a lb. :( But I know I can do better and I will do better. Hey, I doubled my sit-ups this week. Now if I could only walk more, but my knees just won't let me. They really hurt.

I am trying to be upbeat, but today I am very down. I think I am entitled to have bad times too. I know I will pull out of this, but for now I just have to ride it out.

The Journey Continues

It is nearly a month since my last post. I have lost almost 20 lbs! The bad news is, I am *very* sick. I have had whatever this is for over a week now and I am finally going to the doctor. We will see what she says, but I think I have a rather virulent form of the flu. Ugh.

So far this endevour has been very positive. It has tested my will power and my desire to accomplish my goal. However, I am doing it and I am proud of myself.

New Life, New Me

I have come to the point in my life where I need to make some serious changes. I don't like where my life is headed. Diabetes, oxygyn, wheelchairs and more medical problems are looming on the horizon if I don't make some serious changes.

So as of September 20, 2010, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and weight loss. I currently weigh 432 pounds. That is a huge amount of weight on my small frame. I know how I got here, now I need to get 200 pounds lighter to make my life a lot less difficult.

I have given myself two years to accompish this goal. If, at the end of this two years, I have failed to lose 200 pounds, I will the go the surgical route with the Lap Band. If you think that is taking the "easy" way out, you don't know me. I have been fighting with my weight my whole life. This is the last time I do this. Why is this different than anytime else? Because I am enrolled in a weight loss program that will keep me on my toes weight wise. I also have another support person in my Nurse Practioner. She is going to keep me accountable for my weight and help me keep on track.

This is the beginning. I will be posting as my journey goes on. Maybe I will inspire someone else to get on the weight loss bandwagon and do it right, instead of trying the quick fixes.

Wish me luck!

Vacation Approaches

On Thursday we will be getting our first "real" vacation in many years. I am really looking forward to the time off and relaxing. Not that we are going anywhere special, we are going to mostly hang out in the local area, as that is all that we can afford. The point is that we don't have to work!

Good-bye Alberta

It has been quite a while since I posted anything here. My mother-in-law died from stomach cancer in late Febuary and we buried her on March 6th. It has been a very difficult time for us all. Mother's Day is this sunday and it will be a difficult one for my beloved husband. I am going to do my best to make it as easy as possible.